Enlightened

As we wrap up our time in grad school, I find myself reflecting on our time here.  I am a very different person than I was 4 years ago.  The changes that took place in the last year alone astound me.

As I see those around me struggle with their personal trials, I am suddenly SO grateful to my Father in Heaven for my life.  Not because it's free of problems, but because at the moment, many life altering stresses are behind me and I feel victory as I look back on it all. I coped, I learned. But more than victory, I feel grateful for the faith and patience that the Lord has taught me through them.  4 years ago, I would've wallowed in self-pity for the difficulties that I'd been dealt.  I would've kicked and screamed (hopefully only figuratively, though sadly I doubt it.)  But instead I decided to have an adventure and learn as much as I could in these 9 months.  (I guess that's easier to do when you see a trial coming from a mile away and can brace yourself for the impact.)  I have been blessed beyond measure!  Now I'm not boasting my wisdom and faith.  I only mean to depict my Father in Heaven's wisdom and perfection in preparing me and teaching me to view my nomadic life with an eternal perspective.  He taught me to work for happiness and prepared a way that I would be strong enough to do so.  For that, I am truly grateful.

I spoke recently about parenting.  One of the articles I drew from illustrated that children are students to be taught, not people to be punished.  These years have taught me that my Father sees me that way.  He is the perfect parent.  I no longer see life as a trial dotted with moments of peace and rest.  Instead, it is a learning process.  That gives me peace concerning the many other trials in which I didn't cope so gracefully.  As I look back on who I was, I'm excited to see what else the Lord can do for me - how will I have changed 4 years from now?

Not being able to see the path ahead of me doesn't scare me so much any more because I know that the Lord is in control.  That brings me so much peace!  I know that my Father in Heaven loves me and will always do what's best for me.  I live trusting His motives and His grand plan for me.  He knows me more intimately and perfectly than I can even imagine.  I know that He will give me the answers I seek.  He will light my path, but only as far as necessary, because retrospect is far more enlightening than the path ahead.